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just one sweet* song to get me :by... |
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Sunday, September 7
On a more reflective note today -
Its common to address a friend with a problem by telling him, " Don't think too much lah." Its largely said with good intentions, with the purpose of cheering him up and pulling him out of a hole he's dug for himself. And I admit its true, I often feel down because I can't get the negative thoughts out of my head. Yet sometimes, I want to think about it. I want to make myself feel miserable because of the sheer contentment I get when I chew on it. And then I realised, why shouldn't we think about it (the problem) even more? Why is getting upset about it wrong if I want to? Through the process of ruminating, I learn. I process the wrongs, the regrets, the downs in my life, and I come up with ways to be an overcomer. Wallowing in that pit for short spasms, and then "not thinking about it too much", sometimes only serves to let you continue doing the same foolish thing over and over again, simply because you didn't give enough time to let yourself come to a conclusive stand on it. Of course, nothing should be done to the extreme. The key is to moderate. If you know it will really depress you if you think about it, know your limits and don't. Leave it for a few days before trying to deal with it again. I think about where I stand today. Most of the time, in this period of frantic chao mugging, I find myself valuing existance and tracking my personal walk more. A friend of mine asked, "Why now? Its time to be studying, why are you thinking about all these kind of things now?" Without a doubt, the prelim exams are crucial, and I am and will try my best to do as well as I can. However, I can't seem and won't want to dismiss everything else until after the exams. If this is about knowing why we are alive and about unfolding the mystrey of our existance, then all the more it should be on my mind all my waking hours. The way I perceive the world, the things I value, the events that matter - they have changed so much in such a short time. Not to say that the journey wasn't extremely long and painful, but the time it took transcends the boundaries of time as we know it. Internally, time can travel at the speed of light or crawl at an excruciatingly snail pace. We don't determine it - it will be the season of life that does. The lyrics of a particular Christian song goes, "I will never be the same again. I will never return, I've closed the door." It is only partially true. For I feel that I have moved along, yet in moving forward, I needed to open all those close doors and walk in any and every direction that I had been moving in for my whole life.
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i feel stupid but its something that comes and goes:i've been changing think its
funny how no one knows:we dont talk about the little things that we do
without:when that whole mad season comes around || and you've been so busy lately that you haven't found the
time to open up your mind and watch the world spinning gently out of time leather pigskins click click amanda beks lock ghim morgan brian huilin ian vinz klem kwek dehan jimmy winston |