TWEAkED®

i often feel like a well. do you? why does the water in the well come from? actually, i don't know, do you? i think its from the rain. perhaps there's a drain running through the bottom of the well, but i doubt it. drainage systems were not present in primitive ages. well now that's settled, i can safely say that the well can run dry.
i can run dry.
i'm sure you can too.

wells are also deep. you might not think they contain much besides water, but i think what's down there is probably too deep for you to see anyway. i think there's a lot in me that i don't actively think about, don't actively know, but not to say it isn't there. it is. there are good memories, which make me smile. there are past hurts and regrets, that i still hold and subconsciously refuse to let go off. there are questions about the past, the present and the future - i wonder who i'll be, where i'll be, how i'll be? i wonder how i'll die? i wonder how heaven looks like? i wonder if there is a heaven.

wells have pails that can be lowered. but we don't always have to. we can leave them there for days at end and fill our pail with other sources of water. but i think we all go back to our well eventually. even when its mossy green and hidden by the undergrowth. and then we will lower our pails. what the well fills our pails with is something we cannot otherwise fill. it fills us with vulnerability. vulnerability to get hurt. try as i may, i cannot stop myself from lowering my pail. because only when i do i can i start to love again. only when i do can i start to be part of others' lives again. the process is slow, painful and tiring, but the reward is great.

gen muses at 11/20/2003 01:36:00 AM